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When Should I Bring Up the Exclusive Talk?

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Every relationship is different and evolves at a different pace.

Maybe it takes three months for you to care about whether or not you’re exclusive, and maybe you’re smitten after two dates and can’t stand the thought of seeing someone else.

It can be difficult to know whether you’re in an exclusive relationship with someone when you haven’t dated for very long. Sometimes, one person thinks the relationship is exclusive and the other does not.

So when should you bring up the idea of exclusivity in a relationship?

This blog explains when to have “the talk” with someone you have been dating.

In my video, I discuss the right way to bring up exclusivity so neither of you gets hurt feelings. I also give a great solution for people who have already had sex with their partner but still need to discuss being exclusive.


Hey Dr. Gray!

I am in my late 20s, and I have read almost all of your books. I must thank you. I now love myself enough to know what I can give and what I deserve in a loving relationship. I know when to give space and how to be loving to a guy. But I am still confused.

I have been dating a man for 2 months now, and my question to you is: When or how should I bring up the exclusivity talk if he doesn’t?

When is it too early?

– Jennifer


The best time to bring up exclusivity is when he wants to have sex with you.

This is a great time to say, “I don’t have sex with a guy unless he is only having sex with me.”

This is a great policy to have when dating.

Check out my book Mars and Venus on a Date for more helpful dating advice.

Grow in love,