MV Quick Tip: How to Bring Out the Best In Him

He was such a wonderful man and partner in the beginning but now he’s slunk into patterns and habits you don’t like. It's hard to open your heart and be attracted to the man he’s settled into. If you're wondering how to bring out the best in a man so that he can be the partner you remember and love, then you'll love today's MarsVenus quick tip!

In love, little things make a big difference. In the day-to-day of your relationship(s), it can feel overwhelming to address all the problems or create all your dreams at once. That's why we love to bring you these quick tips. Something accessible you can try on and experiment with. It might be new, it might be a helpful reminder, and it might be totally counterintuitive. We invite you to play along.

In this post, you'll discover how to bring out the best in a man with this simple approach we find works wonders.

A man is free to be the best he can be when he feels accepted just the way he is.

Easier said than done — especially if he’s been dropping the ball in the relationship for a while and it’s much easier to notice and focus on all the ways you’d like him to change!

That’s the thing about the stuff in life that really matters; sometimes it’s worth it to NOT take the easiest path because putting in a little effort here, actually gets you a much easier and more fulfilling relationship.

Let’s break it down:

Men and women have different primary needs in a relationship. When your partner gets their primary needs met, they naturally respond by meeting yours. This is why it all works so well and so easily in the beginning!

You have no history weighing you down or walls between you built from resentment. It’s a fresh slate and that’s when men and women naturally — without conscious thought — give each other exactly what they each need most, which inspires even more giving and romance!

But the great thing is that with awareness of these primary needs, we can actually hack into this system using conscious thought and inspire our partners to respond to us differently, naturally giving us what we need most.

This is a quick tip so we’re only going to shine a light on one set of reciprocal primary needs in this post. It’s not everything but it is a little thing that can make a big difference today.

Men need to feel accepted.
Women need to feel understood.

When a man listens without judgment but with empathy and genuine curiosity to a woman’s feelings, perspectives, and voice, she feels heard and understood. The more she feels truly seen, heard, and understood by her partner, the easier it is to accept him — even though he is imperfect.

When a woman lovingly receives a man without trying to change him, he feels accepted. She’s not saying he’s perfect but by not trying to change him, she indicates to him that she trusts him to make his own improvements.

This motivates him to:

1. listen to her and give her the understanding she needs and deserves and...
2. be the very best he can be for her.

Men thrive when they can make their partner happy, but if he feels rejected (the opposite of accepted), then he doesn’t have the motivation to try to do better and be better.

So what can you do today that can move both of you out of this stuck place where no one is getting their needs met and no one feels very generous?

Start small. When a complaint comes into your head today, try refocusing on something else, like something he does for you that you appreciate, or if that’s too hard right now, just a thought that makes you happy. Daydreaming of chocolate cake and Beach Boys music can be the first positive step toward accepting your partner for who he is, trusting that as you stop trying to change him, he will be more motivated to give you what you need.

May this give you some food for thought and inspire you to try something new.

Remember, thriving in love doesn’t have to be complicated. Just keep learning and taking small steps because you deserve a great relationship!

Grow in love,